I have a bone to pick with at&t. I am using lowercase letters because they use lowercase letters to describe themselves since the big breakup of the Bell Telephone System years ago. AT&T, you see, is the old company. The big bad company that was broken into a million pieces (called the “Baby Bells”).
Back then, telephone service was virtually perfect. You made a call, you could hear the person on the other end and they could hear you. The call did not disconnect on you a million times an hour. But then again, that was before cell phones.
Today at&t is in small letters and cell phones have arrived. Boy have they arrived. The problem is that service with at&t is not as good as service with AT&T. I want AT&T back!
Hence my desire to send a strongly worded letter to at&t. It is as follows:
I am very concerned about your lack of attention to quality. My daughter calls me from Denver on her cell phone over your lousy network and the call fails twenty million times over the course of a mere hour. Yes, that’s right … twenty million times. No I’m not exaggerating. No more than you exaggerate in your commercials about how fast your network is. I mean what good does a fast network do if I can’t talk that fast?
Back in the good old days, a person could place a phone call over AT&T’s monopoly phone lines and actually talk to someone … slowly if you wanted … and it worked. Didn’t matter how far away they were or how many bars they had or any of that sort of thing. Now you have just screwed it all up with your lower case letters and even lower level phone service. AND you charge more for these crappy phone calls. Come on, get with it at&t!!.
Other phone companies have managed to go all across the country asking “can you hear me now” so that their customers were assured of good service. You apparently haven’t done that yet. ITS CALLED QUALITY CONTROL. Get on the stick. Do something about this annoying problem before my poor daughter has a nervous breakdown.
My dear Hollywood wants to be able to call and talk to me regularly and she won’t continue to do it if she has to call me twenty million times to complete our conversation. No, I’m not exaggerating again. I’m telling the truth. Yes, the whole truth and nothing but. No, I don’t want to use a Bible or swear on my children’s lives. I want you to fix your service!!!
Now I’m insulted. I will give you one week to fix this problem and if its not fixed in that time frame, well I’ll just have to …… (scared aren’t you, little at&t … you should be) ….. you can just guess what I’ll do.
Sincerely yours in the bond,
That should set them straight. Stay tuned.