The New Adventures of Louis the Dog

Hello again everyone.

I was getting ready to go to work one morning earlier this week when Louis decided to play a new game.  I think he calls it “catch me if you can”.  And he’s very good at it.

When I came downstairs that morning I found Louis’ kennel in the front hall.  The door was open and it was empty.  Where or where was Louis?  I walked into the kitchen and saw that the doorway to the back hall was blocked.  When I got closer I saw Louis laying on his bed looking like the King of England (yes, I know that England does not have a King right now, but at one time it did and Louis looks like that King).

After surveying the situation and determining that the carpeting was safe, I proceeded to finish getting ready to leave for work.  Took my pills.  Found my glasses, wallet and keys.  Put my computer in its bag.  Double checked that I had everything.  OK, now, time to take Louis out before I leave so he can “potty outside”.

I grab his leash and say the magic words (potty outside) and Louis goes crazy.  “Yippie, potty outside, yippie, of course I’ll go.  Got any treats in your hands?  No, ok, lets go anyway!  Yippie, potty outside.”  So out we go.  Given the excitement, I think to myself “this will be a breeze this morning”.

Not so fast.  As soon as Louie gets outside, he turns on his nose and turns off his ears.  “Potty outside” is now the farthest thing from his mind.  I start praying.

We arrive at the special spot.  Louie doesn’t even know he is there.  He is focused on the yard and whatever it is he is smelling.  I thought to myself, “Lets take a deep breath and see what Louie is smelling”.  I did so and all I could smell was pee from the special spot.

After roughly five minutes of begging Louie to potty outside, I give up and head back to the house.  We get inside and he leaps over the gate and into the kitchen.  OMG.

My first thought “OK, he wants a biscuit.  I’ll give him a biscuit, catch him and put him back in the back hall”.  No problem.

Wrong!  Louis wants the biscuit, but he won’t get close enough to me so that I can give it to him AND catch him.  He’s created a new game.  So I throw the biscuit in the back hall and dare him to go get it.  “No fxxxing way!” says Louis.  So I try putting a biscuit on the floor in the kitchen and backing away.  Come on Louis, get the biscuit.  No way.  Now Lilly swoops in and grabs it.  “Get out of here Lilly!!” I yell.

Now Louie is concerned.  One biscuit in the back hall.  One biscuit in Lilly’s tummy.  Things are getting out of hand.  Too bad for Louie that I have now decided that he doesn’t deserve a biscuit. I’m just going to catch him and put him where he belongs.  What ensues is something akin to Wiley E. Coyote (me) chasing the Road Runner (Louie).  And as you know, the Road Runner never gets caught.

That is the way I thought this was going to end until Louie ran himself into a corner where I could trap him and drag his sorry butt back to the back hall.  There I secured him and was off to work, sweating and more than a bit frustrated.  Good thing it wasn’t Monday.  I never would have captured him.

Stay tuned.

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