Oscars For Everyone!

oscar_wideHello again everyone.

Its time for the Academy Awards.  The annual event to bestow Oscars on those who make the Movies we love to watch.  From James Bond to Les Miserables to Lincoln, this years’ nominees have a little of everything.

But who is this Seth McFarlane guy?  And why is he so insulting to the guests?  And James T. Kirk?  Really?  Are you kidding me?  Bring back David Letterman.

x700There are some fine dresses at the Oscars.  Just how low can you go, anyway?

Some of these short films don’t look too interesting to me.  I am sick of Seth McFarlane.  Lincoln gives me the goosebumps.  Seth gives me nausea.

ben-affleck-85th-academy-awards-nominees-luncheon-01Did you like Ben Affleck’s beard?  Do you think he colors his hair?  Who is “Sugar Man?”  How do people get the front seats at the Oscars, anyway?  It seems like George Clooney is always up front.

The Amour director is “sanking” people.  Great french accent.  Gotta love John Travolta. Catherine Zeta Jones hasn’t aged a bit.  What a performance!

Why do Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce, Rhianna, and Alicia Keys all sound the same?  We need more variety.  Let me hear some Stevie Nix and Aretha Franklin.

All of a sudden it seems like everyone from Les Mis is up on the stage singing different songs at the same time.  The Old Lady wants to go see the movie now.  (Just killed a fly on my arm.  Why is there a fly in the house?)

I can’t believe they let “Ted” give an award.  That was a stupid movie.  Can’t believe anyone went to see it.

Christopher Plummer is a million years old.  But he is still living and thinks he’s going to work in another 30 films.

50A55446-8C1C-4D3F-AB5D-61B35B0DA8FD_w640_r1_s_cx0_cy4_cw0Anne Hathaway!!!  Somewhat of a surprise.  She is a doll.

Jennifer Lawrence looks like she is wearing a quilt.  And its ready to take off.

NEP8M516S5V4SR_1_1ADELLE can really sing … not quite like the Beyonce sisters.  Skyfall is a classic Bond song.  Nice job!  You gotta love Adelle.  Thank God for the FF.  Will this ever be over?

Selma Hayek is a babe.  Where is Tom Hanks tonite?  Theresa likes George Clooney.  He makes grey cool.

Barbara!  She loves Marvin Hamlish. Sadly, I think she may be losing it.   (Theresa hit the wrong button … she’s furious with herself.)  Suddenly Daniel Day Lewis is accepting the best actor award.

Jack Nicholson is here.  The Old Lady says he could play Santa Claus.  Michelle is helping introduce the best picture nominees.  Do you like her bangs?  I’m sure the Republicans are getting sick now … if they are still watching.  Nice job … great dress.

And the Best Picture is …. Argo!  What do you know about that?  Beat Lincoln and a bunch of other great films.  George Clooney epitomizes Hollywood, I think.  I think Ben Affleck has lost it.  Could he talk any faster?

(Theresa is still upset.  Her back hurts and she is so mad.)  Does anyone want to hear Seth McFarlane sing about the “losers”?

Not me.  So, thanks for reading and Stay tuned.

2 thoughts on “Oscars For Everyone!

  1. thanks for the oscar summary! I didn’t get to watch it myself. I did see Argo though and if you guys haven’t seen it yet you should. I liked it.

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