Get Well Mike Brown

Hello again everyone.

My brother in law, Mike Brown, is at home recovering from some nasty abdominal surgery.  (No, my brother in law is not the Michael Brown that was justifiably gunned down by a Ferguson Police Officer in August of 2014.  He is the wonderful, loving, caring man who married the Old Lady’s sister, Mildred.)  We wish him the swiftest of recoveries.

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Mike Brown … impersonating Tom Cruise.

While I’m on the subject of Mike Brown, I should warn you never to get on a tube behind a boat he is driving.  He will try to kill you.  You try to stay on (or hold on) to the tube.  He steadfastly tries to separate you and the tube.  Full speed ahead … hard left … hard right … more speed … hard left … hard right … even more speed.  Repeat until you and the tube are airborne and when you hit the water the next time … its like hitting a wall, tearing your arms from your shoulders and throwing you far away from the tube.

Then he asks if you want to do it again.  Calls you all sorts of weakling names if you refuse. This, of course, after laughing his ass off at your disorientation and pain.  Nice guy.

The next day, you awake to all sorts of muscle pain.  Arms, legs, chest, abs, butt.  You name it — it hurts.  After breakfast, he’ll start baiting you to go back out and take another beating.

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Mike and Mildred

Of course, he has two male children that he has practiced his driving skills with.  Ever since they learned to swim and Mildred stopped caring about whether he drowned them or not, Mike has been driving like a mad man trying to do to the boys what he has done to me.  Unfortunately, the boys are younger, more flexible and lighter than me.  He really has to work to make them fly.  When I finally agree to take the challenge, he is well prepared.

It is with much sincerity that I hope Mike recovers quickly so we can renew our tubing competition.  Only this time, I want to drive.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned.

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