Hello again everyone.
I’m sure you all have heard about some of the odd things that afflict women who are pregnant. They’re nauseous. They crave pickles. They wear stretchy clothes. They pee a lot. They can be cranky. They can be giddy. They can be chatty or very quiet. In general, life seems to run in extremes … one way or the other.
My beloved Fabulous One, as you know, is with child. I’ve known about it for about a month. Some of you have known a bit longer and some shorter. The news was kept under wraps for a time. Even I kept the secret for a period of time. At least until I was given the all clear to reveal the secret.
Given that there had been a news blackout about the fact of the Fabulous One’s pregnancy, I decided to engage a confidential source to keep me in the know as we proceed through the nine month process. That way I can stay up to date on what’s going on without relying on getting news directly from the source.
I checked in with my source recently and learned that the Fabulous One is suffering from a pregnancy induced longing for Christmas. Yes. That’s right. The Fabulous is desperate for Christmas to come. So desperate, it seems, that she is listening to Christmas music and threatening to put up the Christmas Tree. My God, its only August!
Now I’ve never heard of this kind of thing before. It is a sign that the Fabulous One is going nuts. Not sure of a cure. Maybe we redirect her to Halloween? Candy is involved in Halloween … and she can dress up. Two attractive alternatives to listening to Christmas songs in August.
Or, her birthday is on the horizon. We could try to get her focused on that. We could make her a birthday playlist devoid of Christmas songs. And maybe the gifts could be laid out in the living room as if it were Christmas (sans tree). We could cook her a Christmas dinner without calling it that. (I think we had spaghetti and meatballs once for Christmas dinner … maybe she will remember that.)
If that won’t work, then theres my birthday coming as well. She could buy me presents like its Christmas (on a larger budget since she doesn’t have to buy for anyone else). The Old Lady could dress up like Santa and hold a counseling session for our pregnant angel. There are lots of possibilities on how to go about this.
If all else fails, I guess there’s the old fashioned commitment to the psych ward.
Thanks for reading and stay tuned.